Miserable
by FFLoverLaura
Summary: It all ended in one day. Their lives ended, but I continue to live. Miserable. But for how long?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is my first fic ever, besides my O/S that I submitted for Fandom4Texas. Keep an eye out for that. I am unsure on how often I will be able to update. I figured I would give this a shot and see if you all like it and if I should continue. Now, on with the show.**

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><p>Prologue<p>

I don't know how I got to this point.

I am so confused.

How could my life be forever changed, all within one day?

My world came crashing down that day.

No one understands me.

They never will.

I take another hit of the joint, holding it in as long as I can.

I can feel my face start to tingle.

My eyes become blurry.

I swallow down the urge to breathe.

I can't.

Not anymore.

In one day, I lost my best friend, my dad, my home…everything.

Just…gone.

I slowly release the smoke that's burning my lungs.

My mind spins and spirals out of control.

I can't take it anymore.

I am so tired.

I don't want to think anymore.

One more hit. That's all I need.

I curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep.

Again.

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><p><strong>Tell me what you think? Love? Hate? Continue? Stop? Let me know! MWAH!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow. Your responses are seriously making me blush! Thank you to TexasBella for being my pimp momma. I love you girl. If you aren't reading her stories, shame on you. Go read them now! And as far as who's POV it is? Well, I think I will let you guess.. :-P  
><strong>

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><p><em>(two years prior…)<em>

It was a normal day.

I got up, went to work.

Tanya annoyed the fuck out of me.

Same old shit.

I was on my way home when I noticed it.

My cell phone.

23 missed calls.

Huh?

No one ever calls my cell.

Fuck.

I pull off to the side of the road and look at it again.

Me heart drops.

No.

I can't.

Just…no.

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><p><strong>Still with me? :-) Leave me some love..<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Seriously, I love you guys. Stick with me. Yes, this is angsty. But this is something I needed to get out of my head. Patience. :-)**

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><p>Have you ever felt like you were living in a dream?<p>

Tunnel vision..

I can hear people talking to me, around me...but I have no idea what they are saying.

Going through the motions…without even realizing it.

Shit.

I feel like I haven't taken a breath since I looked at my phone.

Dead.

Both of them.

My dad.

My best friend.

The officer said it was a freak accident, that they didn't feel any pain.

The semi driver wasn't paying attention, didn't see the red light.

They didn't see it coming.

It was instant.

Then why does it hurt so fucking bad?

Knowing they didn't suffer..

That should be enough, right?

That should mean something, right?

But it's not.

I lost my father and my best friend, in one fucking day.

Fuck.

What am I going to do?

I still can't fucking breathe..

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><p><strong>Damn.. I cried just re-reading that! Leave me some love, please? I think I need a hug!<strong>

**If you wanna join my madness, I have a group on facebook. FFLoverLaura's Secret Lair...we have lots of fun. **

**The link is: http : / www . facebook . com / groups / 139283239484206/ -just remove the spaces! MWAH!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: POV will stay the same throughout, and no I am not telling you who it is. I am still writing this so I don't know how many chapters it will be. It will be angsty for awhile, but please stick with me. We are going to go through some jumps in time. Again, thank you for all of your reviews and support, they mean the world to me.**

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><p>Time goes by…<p>

Life goes on.

Whether or not you want it to, life keeps moving forward.

The house was taken back by the bank.

My measly income was certainly not enough to keep it.

I started drinking more often, it helped to dull the pain.

I met this guy at the bar; he introduced me to the awesomeness of weed.

I quit my job, I hated it anyway.

It had been two months since that horrid day.

And I was sick of the looks of pity everywhere I turned.

I have to get away from here.

Away from the hurt, the pain, the looks…everything.

I just don't want to _feel_ anymore.

What is left for me here?

Nothing.

I pack my bag.

Just the basics.

Time for a new start.

A new life.

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><p><strong>Still with me? Review and let me know what you think. Love? Hate? Too much for you?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow, I love that I am keeping you guys guessing! haha. Again, there shouldn't be too much angst and I hope you will stick with me through this. Thank you for the reviews and the love! Now, on with the show.**

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><p>Fresh starts are amazing.<p>

No one knows you or your story.

I settled into my one bedroom apartment in New York City.

I said I wanted a change, may as well make it big right?

I got a job at a call center a few blocks away.

Same mundane task day in and day out.

But I needed it.

The repitition.

Things are going to be hard…but at least it's different.

It was easy to find a good dealer to get my green.

Weed is everywhere here.

Easily accessible.

Exactly what I needed.

I made a few friends at my work and they don't ask any questions.

They just accept me.

It's definitely a welcomed change versus the looks of pity everywhere I turned.

The only thing that stays consistent?

The hurt.

When will it go away?

What do I have to do?

I'm starting to be able to breathe a little better, each and every day.

That counts for something right?

Life moves forward.

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><p><strong>Things are getting a little better it seems. We all need change every once and awhile..I know I sometimes wish I could start over. Love? Hate? Leave me some love, and I may just post one more today. :-)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am so honored that some amazing authors are reading my little story! texasbella, kitkat681, JA Mash, CullensTwiMistress, trs1...thank you so much for your love and support.. you guys AMAZE me. And if you all are't reading their stuff already, please do so. You can find them in my favs. :-) This will be the last one for today, I have so much homework to do it's not even funny. :-) Now, on with the show...**

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><p>I take a hit of my pipe and set it back down on the coffee table.<p>

I really don't want to go out tonight.

But they talked me into it.

Why did I let them talk me into it again?

Ah, that's right.

I have been here for over a year now and haven't seen NYC in all its glory.

A couple more hits on the pipe and I make my way towards the bathroom.

I don't dress myself up, there's no reason for it.

There's no one to impress.

Some jeans and a hoodie will do just fine.

I sigh and make my way towards the door.

I grab my keys, some money and then I'm off.

I am so fucking glad I smoked before coming out.

By the looks of things, I am definitely not going to remember much of tonight.

And maybe that's what I need.

To let go and forget.

For at least one night.

Damn, the bar is packed full.

I get a beer and sit amongst my friends.

And that's when I see them…

_Holy Fuck._

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><p><strong>ooooo...who is "them"? Any guesses? Love? Hate? Let me know what you think! I love your reviews! They keep me going after only getting 2 hours of sleep... MWAH!<strong>_  
><em>


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: WOW! So amazed by your reviews! I love that I am keeping you guessing! :-) Reviews make me wet, so be a reviewer, not a lurker ;-) haha. Now, on with the show...will you get your answer to who "they" are?**

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><p>I try and act like I am unaffected by them, but I can't help it.<p>

_Damn._

Beautiful is the only word I can think of to describe them.

They walk over to our table and my friends seem to know them.

I huff, why was I not introduced sooner?

I try not to stare, cause that would be rude right?

I am so fucked.

Of course the only seat available is next to me.

They sit down and turn to me.

"Hi," they say with a grin.

"Hey," I say back, trying my damnedest to appear unaffected.

They smell _amazing_.

_Ungh_.

Why me?

The night goes on, more drinks, laughter, longing looks.

I swear I saw them looking at me, but I rid myself of that thought, there is no way…

I get up and excuse myself.

I'm feeling more than a little buzzed.

And _god_, I have never felt this consumed by someone before.

And I just met them!

I make my way to the bathroom when suddenly I am pushed into a darkened hallway.

"I want you" they say and I can't help but kiss the words from their mouth.

I have no idea where my courage has come from, but I am not stopping now.

Panting, groping, rubbing.

_More_...

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Love? Hate? Leave me some love and let me know who you think "they" are! ;-) A couple more updates later today. If you want to join my madness, come join my group on facebook! FFLoverLaura's Secret Lair... www . facebook . com  groups / 139283239484206 / - just remove the spaces! :-) MWAH!  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So you all think "they" is Edward? Interesting... ;-) Thank you again to those of you that are alerting, reviewing and rec'ing my story. I love you all! Now, on with the show...**

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><p>I'm not sure how we got back to my place.<p>

Everything is a blur, but I can't bring myself to stop.

It just feels so right.

Every touch, every kiss…

_Fuck. _

_So good._

We're on my bed.

More groping, clothes thrown everywhere.

I can't _breathe_!

For a moment I forget everything, it's just us.

No death, no loneliness…just pleasure.

I can't help but wonder if they are my savior or if they will cause my ultimate destruction.

Wet, hard, soft, groping, panting, more…

I never knew sex could be so amazing..

Absolute perfection...

I cum more than once and I didn't even think that was possible.

I pass out afterwards, exhaustion taking over.

_Peace._

When the sun peeks through my window, I sigh.

I reach across the bed, hoping to feel them again.

_Nothing…_

_No fucking way_.

I grit my teeth.

Then I reach into my bedside table and grab my pipe.

I take a huge hit, savoring the burn in my lungs.

Today is going to be a _lovely_ fucking day.

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? Leave me some love! Reviews make me write faster.. ;-) MWAH!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Wow! I have iambeagle and theonlykyla reading my story! GAH! If you aren't reading their stuff, stop reading mine and do it NOW! *huffs* ok, now on with the show! ;-)**

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><p>I'm pretty pissed off they left without a word.<p>

And as a result, I ignore my friends.

They know them; I don't want to worry about seeing them again.

I can't handle that kind of rejection.

_Fuck._

Days, weeks, months go by.

I decide to get a tattoo.

Ya know, one to memorialize the people that mean the most to me.

I made this sick ass design that is gonna look hot as hell.

Things have been going good, so why not?

I head into the tattoo shop right down the road from my work.

I go over the design with the guy.

An hour later, I'm sporting some ink along my ribs.

I feel good; there is something about the pain of getting a tattoo that releases _my_ pain.

It's energizing.

So, I head to the bar instead of going home.

I have a few drinks, get my buzz on.

It's about ten after one when I finally leave.

As I make my way towards my apartment, I see them.

We lock eyes and I can't seem to look away...

Then I see the pity.

_No._

I'm not going to let them pity me.

_Fuck that._

I flip them off and walk the other way.

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><p><strong>So? What did ya think? Love? Hate? hmm..maybe if you leave me a review I'll give ya a hint ;-) MWAH!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you so much to those of you that are sticking with me through this and reviewing! I love you guys hardcore! Now, on with the show... ;-)**

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><p>I can't stop thinking about them.<p>

No matter how much it hurt to see that pity in their eyes…

I can't stop my brain from remembering that night.

_Fuck._

They are perfection personified.

I rub my ribs were my tattoo is and sigh.

It's been two years today.

I just smoked way too much.

But damn, it feels fucking good.

The memories don't hurt as much.

Curled up in my bed, I finally let sleep consume me.

_Knock Knock…_

What the fuck?

I throw the blankets off of me while grumbling the entire time.

I am _so_ not in the mood for this shit.

I throw open the door, "It's two in the morning asshole!"

I pause as the words leave my mouth.

It's _them_.

Oh my god…

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? Did you get any questions answered? For a pic of the tattoo, come visit my group on facebook! FFLover Laura's Secret Lair http :  www . facebook . com / groups / 139283239484206 / - just remove the spaces! :-) MWAH!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and support! It means the world to me! Got another AWESOME author reading my story! Thank you Welcome2MyWorldxoxo! And if you aren't reading her fic "Who's Your Papi", ugh, do it now! so hott! I think it will start to become clearer on who's POV this is. ;-) Now, on with the show...**

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><p>I stare at them trying to figure out why they're here.<p>

"What the fuck do you want?" I ask harshly.

I notice they flinch slightly, but I can't bring myself to care.

_Fuck that._

"I came to apologize, that night…" they start, but I stop them by raising my hand.

"You had your fun and you left. What else is there to say?" I ask.

I huff then, my buzz from earlier diminishing.

"Please, just let me explain," they beg.

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

"Why should I?" I demand.

_Damn it. _

Why _me_?

"Because that night meant more to me than I can explain and I am so sorry for leaving," they reply quietly.

I tense at their words but stay silent.

"You had a nightmare that night, I tried to wake you but you pushed me away," they whisper.

I look at them in shock.

No one knows of the nightmares that haunt me.

What did they hear?

_Fuck._

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? Let me know what you think! Reviews make me write faster! :-) Again, if you want to be a part of my madness, join my group on FB. The link is on my page. :-) MWAH!<em><br>_**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Wow. Love your guys' reactions to this! :-) I just wanted to give a shout out to my girl theonlykyla, so glad you getting better babe, love you and miss you! xo Also, thank you to everyone for your reviews and support. Love each and every one of ya! ;-) Now, on with the show...**

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><p>I close my eyes and shake my head.<p>

_Fuck._

They heard me?

All of a sudden I feel their hands against my cheeks, framing my face.

But I can't bring myself to open my eyes.

"It's okay, you don't have to explain. I-I...I understand," they say.

I jerk my head away from them and say, "You don't understand shit."

I go to shut the door but they stop me.

"Don't do this to yourself, please…let me help you," they say softly.

_What?_

Help me?

_Fuck and you._

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you very much. Now get the fuck out!" I scream.

Their eyes are wide as they back away and out into the hallway.

I slam the door shut, locking it for good measure.

I'm on my knees in an instant.

"FUCK!" I yell as loud as my lungs will allow.

I let out a strangled cry as the pain consumes me again.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Love? Hate? Did you get any questions answered? Reviews make me write faster...so do it. ;-)<strong>

**The lovely CullensTwiMistress made me a BEAUTIFUL banner for this story, and it can be found in my group on facebook, the link is on my page under homepage. Join my Lair ;-) MWAH!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of your reviews and support! I am so glad you are enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it. :-) Don't forget to check out my fav's-there are some amazing authors and stories there! Make sure to show them some love! Now, on with the show...**

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><p>I groan as I begin to wake up.<p>

My whole body aches.

I roll onto my back and stretch.

Reaching over to grab my pipe, I think I hear something...almost like a door closing.

_What the fuck?_

My body tenses and I begin to breathe harshly.

I get out of bed quietly and make my way towards the door.

I look around and see…

Nothing…

Huh…maybe I imagined it?

I shrug my shoulders and head towards the bathroom.

After relieving myself I go back to my bed and throw myself down.

Last night, or I guess this morning, was all kinds of fucked up.

What the fuck had they heard?

Grabbing my pipe again, I take a couple long hits.

I no longer smoke to rid myself of the pain; I just love the way it makes me feel.

Humming as I feel the high begin to take over, I can't help but think of them.

All my thoughts seem to go back to them.

Maybe I should let them in?

Talk to someone?

It's been two years, I think I am doing pretty well. Everyone mourns differently.

So, it's taken me a little longer...

I shake my head at myself.

I'm sure they hate me now; the way I acted was irrational.

Maybe?

_Fuck._

And…now I got the munchies.

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? Let me know! And don't forget to check out my group on facebook! The link is under homepage on my profile! MWAH!<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So, have you guys figured out who's POV this is or who "they" are? I love your theories! And thank you so much to those of you that are sticking with me through this! I love you all hardcore. Thank you. Now, on with the show...**

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><p>I make my way into the kitchen and notice a piece of paper under the main door.<p>

_What the…._

I bend down and pick it up

I furrow my brow…

It has my name on it.

I unfold the paper and read it…

_Here is my number._

_Use it._

_xxx-xxx-xxxx_

_...  
><em>

And it's signed by them.

I close my eyes and release a breath.

I walk towards the fridge and put the note under one of the many magnets.

I'll keep it.

Ya know...

Just in case.

Yeah...

I shake my head for the millionth time.

It's the weekend so I shrug and go back to my bedroom and watch _Dazed and Confused_.

Fucking love this movie.

Later on that evening I'm in the kitchen staring at that piece of paper, again.

_Here is my number._

_Use it._

I sigh.

_Fuck me._

I grab my phone and dial their number.

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? What do you think is going to happen? And only ONE of you caught on to the door they heard! I'm shocked! haha..All will be answered soon. Stick with me!<strong>

**Come check out my group on facebook! http : / www . facebook . com / groups / 139283239484206/ - just remove the spaces! :-) MWAH!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: GAH! So excited to see the reviews coming in with all of your theories! Love it! Keep 'em coming! Are you going to get any answers this time? Hope you guys like it! Now, on with the show...**

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><p>"Hello?" they answer.<p>

I hold my breath while my heart seems to be beating a million miles per minute.

They sigh and sound agitated, "Hello?"

"Hey," I finally speak up.

There is a long pause and I feel like a fucking idiot for calling.

"I'm so glad you called," they breathe.

"Umm, I got your note. Ummm..."I start and try to think of what the fuck to say.

"Coffee?" I blurt out.

"Yeah. Yeah, that would be great. Starbucks on the corner of 28th and 5th?" they reply.

"Yeah, okay, sure. Say, in about an hour?"

"That sounds good. See you then," I can hear the smile in their voice.

"Yeah, see you then," I murmur and hang up.

_Holy shit._

Coffe…

…with_ them._

A smile appears on my face.

I shake my head and then haul ass to the bathroom to take a shower.

_What?_

I haven't showered all day and I wanna shave.

There's no other reason.

Honest.

_Fuck._

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? What do you think? Let me know!<strong>

**Come check out my group on facebook! http : / www . facebook . com / groups / 139283239484206/ - just remove the spaces! :-) MWAH!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: OK, I was an epic fail today. Sorry ladies, RL definitely had me running ragged today. This is the only post I have for today so I made it a little longer... Tomorrow I hope to spoil you with 4 or 5 instead of 3 to make up for my lacking today. Thank you again for all of your love and support. Did you all get your Fandom4Texas compilation? I'm in it! ;-) Now, on with the show...**

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><p>After I shave and scrub my body clean, I get dressed quickly.<p>

Why the fuck am I so nervous?

I glance at the clock and see there's still fifteen minutes before I need to leave.

I grin.

To waste some time, I fire up my pipe.

_Damn._

Shit feels_ so_ good.

I lay down on the couch for a minute to gather my thoughts.

And as I look up at the ceiling I can't help but smile.

I've been doing a lot of that lately...the whole, smiling thing.

Why does the thought of seeing them again make me so happy?

_Shit._

I rub my tat, my hands always seeming to find it.

Will they understand?

Really?

'Cause I don't understand.

_Fuck._

Noticing the clock again, I realize it's time to get going.

I grab my stuff and make my way out the door.

It's a fast walk to Starbucks and when I am about half a block away, I pause.

I close my eyes and ask myself what I am doing..

Then, their face pops up behind my closed eyes and I know.

Shaking my head at myself I continue on.

Opening the door and stepping inside I look up.

They smile as our eyes meet and I can't help but return it.

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? What are your theories? Seems our mystery POV isn't so mopey anymore? Why do you think that is? Leave me some love!<strong>

**Come check out my group on facebook! http : / www . facebook . com / groups / 139283239484206/ - just remove the spaces! :-) MWAH!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: So so so so sorry for the lack of updates! RL has been kicking my ass hardcore and I sincerely apologize. But, I was able to get some homework out of the way so I was able to write! YAY! lol Thank you again for your reviews, alerts, rec's etc. It means the world to me. Now, on with the show...**

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><p>All of the tension I feel, just seems to leave my body with that smile.<p>

I walk over to them and they stand as I approach.

"Hi," I mumble while rocking back and forth on my heels.

"Hi. Umm…you wanna sit down?" they ask and point to the table they were sitting at.

I nod and we both sit.

The tension feels awkward, but I can't bring myself to leave.

I see their hand as it makes its way across the table and covers mine.

Looking up in surprise and shock, I see them give me an encouraging smile.

They wrap their fingers around my own and give them a squeeze.

_Fuck._

"So…" I say, trying to get them to tell me what I'm even doing here.

"Listen, I understand more than you know about what you've been through," they say.

I sigh and tense up.

"Please, don't do that. Let me tell you my story, okay?" they continue.

I nod, encouraging them to keep going.

"When I was thirteen, my parents were in a horrible car accident," I look up in shock and they shake their head.

"Don't pity me, because I don't pity _you_. I'm okay. I turned out okay, didn't I? You're going to be okay. Everyone is different, mourns differently. Just let me help, okay?" they say to me with a determination I have never seen before.

I just stare at them in shock for a moment and then sigh.

"Together?" I ask.

They smile and nod, "Together."

_Fuck._

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? What did you think? Let me know by pushing that little review button. ;-)<strong>

**Come check out my group on facebook! http : / www . facebook . com / groups / 139283239484206/ - just remove the spaces! :-) MWAH!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you so much for your support and understanding with not getting updates out faster. School and homework are taking up a lot of my time. I really appreciate all of it. So, things are getting better for our mystery POV, and I think most of you have figured it out.. Haven't done too well on making it a mystery I suppose. But, my writing can only get better over time right? :-) Love you all. Now, on with the show...**

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><p>We leave the coffee shop and walk along the streets of NYC.<p>

They grab my hand and thread their fingers through mine.

I smile internally.

_Fuck._

Why is everything so easy with them?

Can it be this simple?

We make our way to my apartment to hang out.

Listening to music, talking, laughing, getting to know each other.

You wanna know the best part?

They smoke too.

_Yes!_

My pipe was definitely put to some good use that night.

_Goddamn_ they were funny as hell to watch stoned.

By the end of the night, we're cuddled up on the couch.

I can't help but get turned on as I breathe in their scent.

They turn to me and I can see the lust in their eyes.

After that look, we make a mad dash to my bedroom.

_Fuck!_

We are in a rush to get naked and fall into the bed together.

Grunts, moans, whimpers and the sounds of sex fill the room.

They consume me just as I consume them.

They run their hands along my ribs, noticing my tat for the first time.

"Beautiful," they murmur.

"No, we are beautiful. _Together_," I whimper as the need to cum overwhelms us both.

And when I wake up the next morning…

I smile.

'Cause they're still here.

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? What do you think? Leave me a review and let me know!<strong>

**Come check out my group on facebook! http : / www . facebook . com / groups / 139283239484206/ - just remove the spaces! :-) MWAH!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I know, I was shocked I'm giving you another update too! :-) Thanks again for all of your love and support! You guys amaze me! Now, on with the show...**

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><p>Things are going great.<p>

Pretty awesome actually.

We're always together, spending little time apart.

They talked me into going to these support meetings for people that have lost loved ones.

I never thought something like that existed, let alone the fact that I would go.

And I do, all the time.

Twice a week actually.

I was surprised on how much it helped me.

They are always with me, like they had promised they'd be.

_Together._

I don't know how I got so lucky to find someone that would accept me, flaws and all.

But I'm not complaining.

The nightmares have stopped, thank god.

Right now, I'm sitting on my couch while waiting for them to get here.

Just took a hit from this sweet ass green I just acquired.

Shit has you dazin' after two hits, I kid you not.

I hear the key in the door and I look up with a smile already on my face.

They walk in and sniff the air.

"Ugh! You smoked without me? Really?" they complain as they take off their coat.

"No, well, yeah…I did. But I only took one hit! See?" I show them the remaining joint.

They grin and yank it out of my hand.

I just shake my head.

God, I love them.

_Fuck._

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><p><strong>Love? Hate? What did you think? Leave me a review and let me know!<br>**

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	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I am so sorry for being such an epic fail at updating. RL has been a bitch to me lately, which as unfortunately shut off my writing mojo..not that I really had any to begin with, but, eh, whateva. lol Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Had to get this image outta my head. Now, on with the show….**

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><p>My apartment is filled with an awesome haze of smoke.<p>

They side eye me as I rest against the back of the couch.

I feel like a wet noodle, my body complete mush after we destroyed the rest of that joint.

"What?" I say, getting a little defensive 'cause they are staring at me.

"Nothing," they laugh and shake their head.

"Okay, I am so sure it's nothing…" I trail off, hoping they will tell me what the fuck is on their mind, I am no mind reader ya know.

I notice they side eye me again and I huff.

"Seriously?" I ask annoyed.

"Seriously," they say, their voice filled with lust and everything right in the world.

Then their lips are on mine and I can't focus on anything else but them.

My annoyance disappears and it's just us.

_Together._

"Fuck," they murmur as I deepen the kiss.

My tongue slides against theirs as I moan.

Fuck this is some amazing weed, I can feel everything!

They bite my bottom lip and I hiss.

We are a mess of kissing and grinding and groaning and it's oh so good.

"Baby, please, I need you," they say and who am I to deny them?

Clothes are being thrown everywhere as our desperate need to be together heightens.

Its crazy how just a few months ago I was so miserable.

And now?

Fuck, they are amazing and I can't ever get enough of them.

I can't fathom that I had ever been miserable.

With them in your life...who could ever be miserable?

"You feel so good," I whimper as we start moving together.

It's hard and fast and I can't get enough.

Our skin is slick with sweat and the sound of us moving together is music to my ears.

And as they start to come undone, they put their hands up to my face, holding me to them, our foreheads touching.

We breathe each other in and I can't control the emotions running through my veins.

I open my mouth to speak and they kiss the words from my mouth.

Looking in to each others eyes it becomes too much.

It's so good and so consuming.

Can you die from orgasm overload?

"I love you."

_Fuck._

Those three words send us both over the edge.

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><p><strong>Who said it? Any guesses?<strong>

**Love? Hate? What did you think? Leave me a review and let me know!**

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	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I just wanted to say a big Thank You to all you that read and review religiously. It means the world to me and I thank you. I am truly humbled by the big name authors I have reading my first fic and supporting me along the way. I will never be able to express what it means to me. Thank you. With that being said, I am going to end Miserable here. I think this is a good ending point for these two, and I may go back to them at a later date. Also, there is just so much going on-with everything-that I need to put this behind me and start new. I have some more plot bunnies running through my head, and hopefully real life will allow me to get started on that. Also, I have a few outtakes and futuretakes in mind for this, since it is my baby. Anywho. So, for the last time…on with the show…**

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><p>"<em>I love you."<em>

My back is against the headboard as they sit in my lap. Neither one of us breathing. Our hearts pound furiously against each other

Three little words, that hold so much meaning.

"Bella?"

"I can't help it Edward, but I do. I love you," she whimpers and crushes herself further into me. Then ever so softly, she adds, "I have fallen so in love with you."

I hold her to me while as my mind floods with images, everything I have been through and experienced over the past couple of years on replay in my brain.

Pushing my nose into her hair that lays against shoulders, I breathe her in and I remember...

_The phone call that changed everything.._

_One accident.._

_Two lives.._

_Losing my father, Edward Sr..._

_Losing my best friend, Emmett.._

_Miserable.._

Or at least I was.

Until Bella…

_Smiling more.._

_Experiencing happiness again.._

_Gaining a new best friend...  
><em>

_Having meaning to life again..._

_Everything seeming brighter.._

_No longer being miserable.._

_Accepting and dealing with the grief..._

_The weight being lifted..._

_Fuck, I love her too.  
><em>

Feeling her start to pull away I shake my head, not allowing her to move, holding her to me.

I know my silence has been taken wrong, so pull her closer until we are nose to nose, chest to chest, forehead to forehead.

"Open your eyes beautiful," I murmur to her, my lips ghosting over her own.

Deep brown swirls open and reveal to me love, lust and hesitancy.

Bringing my hands up to frame her beautiful face I try and express how much she means to me.

"Bella, oh god baby...I love you too," I breathe out, "I came to New York a broken man and was completely miserable...But I'm no longer that person Bella, and that's because of _you_. _You_ helped me baby. You accepted me and helped me to deal with everything instead of bottling it up inside like I was. You helped me. You showed me how to live. You are everything to me Bella, everything. How could I not love you?" I ask.

Her answering smile is the only thing I see.

"Do you mean that?" she asks, tilting her head to the side, staring straight into my soul.

Kissing her chastely, I run my fingers along her cheeks, down her shoulders and arms until I have her hands in mine.

"I mean it, I love you Bella. Fuck, that feels good to say," I laugh with her and then squeeze her hands, "You aren't going to get rid of me so easily."

Her lips are soft and gentle against mine as we kiss lazily.

"But, are you sure you can handle me?" I add, giving her my lopsided smile she loves so much.

It's her turn to laugh as she nudges me playfully and wipes away the tears that had escaped.

"I can handle anything you have to offer Edward," she responds confidently, looking up into my eyes with a hint of mischief.

"Oh yeah?" I ask just before I flip her over and she is on her back.

"Yes!" she squeals as I attack her ribcage with my fingers.

"You're going to regret that Miss Swan!" I growl playfully and nibble at her neck.

"Never," Bella manages to moan out as her legs come up to wrap around my hips.

Her hand rubs the tree along my ribs and I shiver.

"You know this changes everything, right?" I whisper into her ear as I lower myself on top of her.

"I would hope so," she whimpers, "No more miserable baby."

"No more miserable," I respond, repeating her words as I slide into her.

_Home._

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><p><strong>Ok, so that's it. Not sure how I feel about this ending, but like I said, I already have a few ideas for futuretakes and outtakes. <strong>

**Love? Hate? What did you think? Leave me a review and let me know!**

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